Lest I Forget

There are some things in life that you just don't forget, or can't forget. I have several of those experiences.

Dec. 6, 1981 I was a junior in high school and my best friend called to tell me a girl in our German class, Amy Smith, had been brutally murdered the night before, along with her boyfriend, Steve Rosenthal. Robie Drake, a senior, was the murderer. I will never forget the feeling of shock and the horrible silence that ran through the halls of NTHS.

March 1982 Dan Welchoff, a senior at my school, died during an inddor soccer game. Once again, the horrible silence of grief that filled the halls of NTHS. Grief counselors just didn't exist back then.

Jan. 1986 I was a junior in college when the space shuttle blew up.

Sept. 11, 2001 If you were alive on that day, you will always remember where you were when you first heard of the terrorist attacks. It was such a horrible thing....the images of planes flying into the towers and their eventual collapse will forever be stuck in my mind.

May 28, 2004 Hearing Dirk's words, "Dad's down in the shop. I'm going to get Les." I will NEVER ever forget that day and all of the pain and sorrow that went along with it. The visuals are still there, too. But the Lord has taken the sting of their pain away.

But I have many happy memories,too. Memories that I don't WANT to ever forget.

June 30, 1999 The day Dirk asked me to be his wife.
June 30, 2000 The day Dirk and I got married.
Sept. 26, 2002 The day Kaitlyn joined our family.
Aug. 25, 2004 The day Renee completed our family.

I don't ever want to forget the feeling of utter exhaustion and exileration as I held my precious daughter for the very first time. She was so helpless and yet so strong. Perfect in every way. I don't ever want to forget the feeling of accomplishment after I delivered Renee without the assistance of medication. I felt like I was Super Woman. (OK, she dropped out of me, but that's beside the point.) The feeling of exhaustion wasn't there but the exhileration was just as strong.

I don't ever want to forget the little noises my babies made or the sweet smell of their skin after their bath, mixed with Purex Baby laundry soap. Or the softness of their skin against mine. Even the middle-of-night feedings really weren't that bad. I don't want to forget the closeness that a mom feels to her baby as she is nursing her. Watching Grace and Alexandra these past few months has reminded me of how much I don't want to forget. Their first reactions to solid foods, first words, first steps.....I remember Kaitlyn's first sweet potatoes but not Renee's. I remember Renee's first steps but not Kaitlyn's. It bothers me that I can't remember everything about them but I also know that that is why I kept a scrapbook of their first year. I tried to keep track of those little details so that when life marched on, I could reflect back on those days.

I have loved just about every moment of being a mom. Both girls have given me trouble....they are not perfect as I first thought. They are human. But they are precious to not only me, but to their Heavenly Father. I have learned so much about faith through my children. I remember one Sunday when Kaitlyn was just a few months old. I was nursing her and she had fallen asleep on me. I was so overwhelmed by the love I felt for her but was reminded that as much as I loved her, Christ loves her (and me) even more, to the point of death on a cross. How can anyone deny that kind of love?

Both of the girls have invited Jesus into their heart. They did so at the lake, during Family Camp. It is exciting to see that innocent prayer begin to take root and grow. Renee has a tenderness about her that causes her to want to pray for others; her teacher, the other children in her class, the people of Japan, etc. I don't want her to loose that sensitivity.

So, lest I forget what is happening in our lives now, I need to blog more, continue to scrapbook and record those things that are precious. This middle-aged mama will one day be an old lady with grown children and I won't be able to remember the ups and downs of life with 2 girls.